Guys, I figured out this obesity thing.

The debate you’re all having is fascinating, it truly is. But you’re letting the real issue slip by you:

We recently received a rather nice set of flatware we ordered from Woot. The larger one on the left is a dinner fork from the new set. The smaller one on the right is the serving fork from our old set.

The real cause of the obesity epidemic is clearly that no one is paying attention to the size of our nation’s utensils. I mean, look at that thing. It’s absurd. You can’t expect me to control my portion sizes when I suddenly have to relearn almost everything I know about eating. It’s like switching to the metric system: just two or three forkfuls and before I know it I’m halfway through my bowl of bacon doughnuts.