Penn Jillette, a hero of mine, proposing “Bacon and a Kiss Airlines” on his old radio show. (Five-minute excerpt; full episode here.)

The idea: no security. Bring whatever you want. Guns, knives, box cutters, Pope hats, anything. But in order to board, you have to eat a piece of bacon and kiss someone of the same sex on the genitals.

Cynicky McCynicpants thinks body scanners are the same thing.