Regarding airport body scanners

If I were not very cynical, I might say that body scanners represent a misguided attempt by a desperate, well-terrorized government to do something—anything—to keep 9/11 from happening again, despite the fact that locking the cockpit door pretty much solved that and besides, the next attack won’t look like the last one, so they must not have thought this through.

If I were a little bit cynical, I might say that our government favors body scanners even though they violate Islamic law because after all, potential terrorists don’t deserve to have their religious views respected.

If I were somewhat more cynical, I might say that our government favors body scanners even though they violate Islamic law because after all, potential terrorists don’t deserve freedom to travel about the country conducting business and visiting their families and contributing to the economy and doing all the other things white people law-abiding citizens do.

But if I were really, really cynical—we’re talking total Cynicky McCynicpants here—I might say that our government favors body scanners because they violate Islamic law, so practicing Muslims will be forced to request alternative and often more thorough and invasive screening procedures and that’s just fine, because then we won’t have to do any of that unseemly racial profiling.