Useless Statements Found in Yelp Reviews, Vol. 2

“Speaking of the bathooms, they have an option to use regular soap or a powdered version.” — Rebecca R.

“They didn’t have pomegranate juice for my standard pomegranate martini.” — Allie S.

“Why a 4 star?? The wait was over an hour long!! …Next time- will just keep it simple and come with no more than 4 people” — C T.

“I have garlic coming out of every pore, which doesn’t bode well for any hot, or even lukewarm, marital action tonight.” — Rebecca H.

“[photo of a glass of ice water]” — Jando S.

“Here’s a tip if you’re homeless folks, don’t give your girlfriend money to paint on her eyebrows if you’re starving.” — Larry H.

“My husband is not feminine looking, and had a beard at the time.” — Bree C.

“Don’t ask me what style food it is, sheshwan neshwan, I have no clue.” — Linda A.

“Thus begins my fascination with the pluralization of the names of small sea creatures.” — Leisa H.

“Schweppe’s Tonic is so much better than the Coke product Tonic, which is bitter!” — Myra F.

“Fortunately the wait staff vibed these unchill folks out; where they were casted out to the wastelands of Matador with the rest of the mainstreamers.” — Papi C.

AND TODAY’S WINNER:

“If you’re going here, arrive at least an hour before they open, or suffer a 45 minute to 1 hour wait.” — Mark S.

(Previously: Vol. 1)