Oh hey, Unsubscribe Guy. It’s us again. No, don’t get up, this won’t take a moment. We just stopped in to confirm that we saw your No Trespassing sign. Great sign, by the way. Really nice work.

Anyway, if that sign was a mistake, or if you ever change your mind about the trespassing thing, give us a ring. We’ll keep all our photos of your home and family on file just in case. By the way, you might want to close the bathroom door when you pee. And maybe get that mole looked at. There’s links to some excellent clinics right on our website. You know about our website, right? Here, I’ll just leave the URL right there on your coffee table in case you need it.

OK, that’s it. You are totally one-hundred-percent unsubscribed now, mister. Have a nice day, and we’ll see you tomorrow. I mean never. Ha ha, “tomorrow,” what am I saying? Boy it’s been a long day. No, don’t worry, we are out of here.

Unless you change your mind. You didn’t change your mind, did you? Just thought I’d ask. OK bye.