My dad and I discuss the finer points of baseball

• Dad: Remember the seven ways to get to first base?
• Me: Of course. You put on Dire Straits and get in the back seat...
• Dad: Ha ha you know what I mean.
• Me: OK fine. Base hit, walk, error, hit by a pitch, dropped third strike, ball lodges in umpire's mask—
• Dad: What?
• Me: Seriously, I think I read that somewhere.
• Dad: How could that possibly happen?
• Me: Maybe he's wearing one of those clay Mummenschanz masks.
• Dad: You know, I bet that's actually covered in the official rules.
• Me: Of course it is. But if a situation like that comes up in a playoff game, you better have someone on the field who's seen it before.
• Dad: Yeah, otherwise the ump would have to stop the game and get out his rulebook and look up "Mummenschanz mask, play interference by."
• Me: It's in the "Mime and Pageantry" section.