venomous porridge
I’m Dan Wineman and sometimes I post things here.
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Oct
9th
Fri
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Yes, I went there

  • Wife: Where's the shovel? I thought we had a shovel. Did we leave it at the last house?
  • Me: If you keep leaving your gardening tools behind when we move, you know what's going to happen?
  • Wife: What?
  • Me: You'll have hoes in different area codes.
  • Wife: I will divorce you.
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