Hey there, New York Times. I want to tell you something.

This? When I see this? You know what I do?

I don’t sign in. I don’t register for an account. I mean, I have an account already so I could probably just autofill my login from 1Password and be on my way. But sometimes I’m on a different computer or something. And I don’t really care enough.

Also, when I registered? I entered totally bogus info. Your database thinks I’m “freckles45,” a cute young Midwestern lady who’s into competitive swimming and handguns. See, I actually care about my privacy, and I also wanted to see what kind of “targeted” ads I’d get. Turns out you think all women are fat and lonely, so… well, now I know that about you.

But anyway. Since I’m not even bothering to log into the bogus account I bogus registered a long time ago, I guess I lose. I don’t get to read your lovely article, and I don’t get to see your lovely ads. I don’t get to click on any of your lovely links to other lovely articles, or even maybe get persuaded to buy a lovely subscription.

Because you don’t want me to.

My loss.

Bye.