venomous porridge
I’m Dan Wineman and sometimes I post things here.
You should follow @dwineman on Twitter, if you feel up to it.
You can even if that's what you're into.

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May
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  • Me: You know, when a lady stars six of your tweets she's obligated to give it up. It's like the third-date rule.
  • Wife: I don't know, I've starred @sween six times and I'm not ready to sleep with him.
  • Me: He's Canadian. They're on the metric system.
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