February 2012
1 post
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An honest question for the TSA
Every day at your airport checkpoints, you screen thousands of passengers for objects that could conceivably be used as a weapons. If you find one, you confiscate it, and the unfortunate traveler continues on her way, cupcakeless but no longer a threat to national security.
You’re also looking for explosives, which is understandable. If you found a live bomb — I mean, not that you ever...
January 2012
6 posts
5 tags
Intent Doesn’t Matter
John Gruber wagers that Apple doesn’t mean what it says in the iBooks Author EULA:
I’m willing to bet cold hard cash that Apple has no intention to and will never try to stop a publisher or author from taking content written in iBooks Author and publishing it elsewhere in another format. No one will ever hear from Apple after exporting from iBooks Author to text or PDF.
But I think...
2 tags
Why I like shopping at the corner store
Customer: Is that Etta James you’re playing?
Clerk: You bet. All Etta, all day long. It’s Friday, girl!
Customer: Nice tribute. It’s so sad that she died.
Clerk: She DIED?
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Common Misconceptions about What I Wrote Yesterday
In a probably-futile attempt to stem the tide of redundant comments, I’ll address some of the more frequent reactions to my last post:
If you don’t like it, don’t use it! Duh.
You’re missing the point. The issue is that this is a software EULA which for the first time attempts to restrict what I can do with the output of the app, rather than with the app itself. No...
But It’s Free
Watts Martin:
So Apple’s “audacity” is that they’ve created a snazzy creation tool that, from all appearances, only works with their viewers. Wineman is correct in that it’s the license, not the technology, that prevents you from taking a .ibooks file and selling it somewhere other than Apple’s store. But you don’t have much reason to sell something this thing creates outside Apple’s store,...
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The Unprecedented Audacity of the iBooks Author...
Apple just released iBooks Author, a free Mac app for creating digital books for the new version of iBooks. I haven’t played with it much, but so far it looks like a very good tool. However, a curious thing happens when you go to export your work in iBooks format:
This restriction — that iBooks can be sold only in the iBookstore — isn’t enforced on a technical level. You can save...
December 2011
4 posts
Anil Dash: Questions for the Republican Candidates →
These are gold. My favorites:
Do you pledge not to pursue war crime prosecution against the Taliban when they waterboard our soldiers?
What Sharia laws do you support other than criminalizing homosexuality, shaming assault victims & legalizing theocracy?
When you slash funding for the NIH, how will you notify parents that their children’s cancer treatments are being ended?
Read...
Senators who voted against the National Defense... →
squashed:
This act enshrines the practice of indefinitely detaining people who are suspected by a Presidential Administration of terrorist connections without trial. It overwhelmingly passed the Senate. Here are the few senators who still believe that the Constitution prevents you from being locked up indefinitely on a mere suspicion.
Sen. Thomas Coburn (R, OK)
Sen. Thomas Harkin (D, IA)
...
November 2011
3 posts
1 tag
October 2011
4 posts
1 tag
“Our goal, obviously, isn’t to cause injury to...
the Oakland Chief of Police said as a thin golden arc erupted gracefully into the air, bending ever so slightly downward and finally coming to rest on the moist, ruined form of the word “obviously.”
The Chief wiped his dick on a lamppost and grinned, teeth like rubber bullets.
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September 2011
6 posts
1 tag
2 tags
“Hey there. I like you. I really like you. Actually, strike that. I love you. I...”
– Every Presidential speech ever
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August 2011
2 posts
2 tags
July 2011
7 posts
3 tags
June 2011
6 posts
1 tag
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A Pivotal Moment in the Film School Career of J.J....
PROFESSOR: Less.
J.J.: Like that?
PROFESSOR: No, less than that.
J.J. (making an adjustment): How about now?
PROFESSOR: Less still.
J.J.: Gosh. Okay, how’s that?
PROFESSOR: Even less. You’ll be amazed how much less you can get away with.
J.J.: But it’ll ruin the shot!
PROFESSOR: Nah. Have some confidence. Wait, what are you shooting on, Velvia?
J.J....
2 tags
iA Writer: On Prices and Features → →
Information Architects has posted a nice response to my piece about App Store pricing and Neven’s reblog. They go into a fair amount of detail about just how much work it takes for a third party to develop a high-quality app for Mac or iOS, the thinking behind their pricing, and how well it’s all worked out for them.
One part that stood out to me:
A nice side effect: Pricing iA...
3 tags
Commoditize your complements
steelopus:
I’m not a programmer/software engineer, but I can’t imagine that the same amount of work went into writing the code for iA Writer than did the code for Pages. I know. I know. It’s not fair to compare them. Oranges and Apples. Different resources, vastly different sales volume & demand, etc. Completely different playing fields.
But seriously? $20 for an app that is...
May 2011
8 posts
2 tags
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A conversation with my PS3
Me: I wonder if the PlayStation Network is back up yet. (clicks) PS3: Sure, just sign in and — Whoops, gotta do a software update. (Half an hour passes.) Me: (clicks again) PS3: Sure, just sign in and — Oh dear, looks like you’ll need to change your password. Hackers, you know. From Russia. Nothing to be done. Me: Okay, here’s a new password. PS3: Now type it again, please. Just to...
4 tags
Atheists have a Rapture too
Here’s how it works: while you’re alive, do whatever pleases you, and try to be pleased by doing worthwhile things.
For example, when another person needs help, you should help them if you can, but you don’t have to feel guilty if you can’t. In fact, you never have to feel obligated to anyone or anything unless you choose to. It can be rewarding to choose obligation,...
4 tags
Useless Statements Found in Yelp Reviews, Vol. 1
“It’s a little out of the way for me, so I probably wouldn’t go back too often.”
— Chris H.
“[The waitress] was wearing old cut-off jeans, no makeup (she needed some) and just looked pretty slovenly”
— Lisa S.
“As for atmosphere, the fabric wall panels need some updating.”
— Erin W.
“Rabbit in mustard sauce - didn’t try...
3 tags
“You don’t become great by trying to be great. You become great by wanting...”
– Zombie Marie Curie (xkcd #896)
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April 2011
7 posts
2 tags
Marketing phrases that guarantee I won’t buy your...
restaurant simulation
turn-based combat
explore 20 amazing worlds
corpse physics
realistic weapons
ninja zombies
premium in-game items
unique twist on gem-matching
connect with Facebook
virtual pet
zombie ninjas
Madden
And the number one phrase that guarantees I won’t buy your game:
hidden objects
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